So I have to be honest with you, I’ve had thoughts of suicide. Now, I haven’t talked much about because I was embarrassed about it, frankly. Now this hasn’t been all the time and it usually comes up when I haven’t had the best sleep or during points of boredom.
So, as many of you who have read my previous article, My PTSD Journey, I have been undergoing EMDR treatment. I have had my second session a couple of weeks ago and it definitely brought up some different emotions than the first session I had. We spoke mainly about the loss of friends and co-workers I have had during my adult life. These losses in my life had definitely some impact on my life.
Obviously this organization came from one of these losses and helps me cope with that loss, but there had been some unresolved feelings from theses losses.
Now, I don’t think I have that many PTSD symptoms as many others face and my results aren’t typical, but I can’t believe how well these treatments have helped me. I am proud to say that I haven’t had a suicidal thought since my last treatment. I mean, I can’t even conceive one which I personally think is great!
I cannot recommend EMDR treatment for any first responder having symptoms of PTSD any more! This has truly been monumental in my life and changed my life for the better. I will say this about EMDR, others who I know who have tried the treatment haven’t had the quick success I have had, but keep with the treatment! I really believe it is worth staying with it and trying to process those unprocessed thoughts.
If you feel that maybe you’re in too deep or need someone to talk with, don’t hesitate to reach out. Reach out to the first responder help line, your family, heck even me! Don’t think that suicide is the only way out, it isn’t! There are many way to get help and deal with these thoughts.
As always, stay safe out there and take care of one another. We are each other’s keepers.